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All the More

from Homemade Wine by Penelope Swales

/

lyrics

All the More
© Penelope Swales 1997

He had eyes, they were big and green
I swear they’d seen
Into the pit of hell, my love
And what he’s seen there
He was runnin’ in a race with time
What do you do when your hate runs dry?
I dunno, coz I’ve never been there

In the heart behind the barrel of the gun
Writhes dilemmas that can break a human soul
Somehow he’d survived,
Yeah, not quite dead inside,
No, all the more painfully alive

He had hair, it was long and wild
it was the symbol that he no longer was
What he’d been in there
He had hands, they were strong and fine
So much more delicate than mine
They were lined
With scars from teeth and knives

Who knows what demons drive beneath the surface?
So much anger must have sprung from so much pain
Somehow he’d survived,
Yeah, not quite dead inside,
No, all the more painfully alive

He said to me,
“Hey, y’know, no-one joins the army
So they can scrape up their friends
And put them in small plastic bags.”
He said to me
“Y’know, I live with my own conscience
People judge me
But not as much as I have”
And he said to me
“Y’know I just felt like such an arsehole
It was easier to hate the good
Coz I can find no good in me
But when it came to it, I just couldn’t pull the trigger
And I’m just lucky that he never aimed at me”

Oh, he had love
It was deep and wide and desperate
His salvation, his demise
When he’d been in there
Couldn’t seem to give enough
Or soak up enough tenderness
To compensate for the years he’d been in there

And y’know, he was so gentle, he said
“Are you sure this isn’t hurting you?” I said
“Darlin’ love can be as vigorous as violence
I don’t think I need fear anything from you”

He had dreams they were bold and bright
Of walkin’ in a land of Southern sunlight
Coz he’d never been there
He had nightmares every night
‘Bout clutching a dead friend’s body tight
He’d awaken to find he was holding mine

In the heart behind the barrel of the gun
These dilemmas nearly broke a human soul
Somehow he’d survived,
Yeah, not quite dead inside,
No, all the more painfully alive

So, will you judge him?
Signed at sixteen years of age
He’d never known a woman
And he’d never held a baby
And all loaded up
With some romantic ideal
All perpetuated by the older generation
Some myth, some lie
Of manliness and duty

Oh, he had eyes, they were big and green
I swear they’d seen
Into the pit of hell, my love
And what he’d seen there

credits

from Homemade Wine, released January 7, 1997
Penelope Swales - vocals, guitar

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Penelope Swales Boolarra, Australia

Penelope Swales has been articulating the human condition with passion and humour for 30+ years. She sings about politics, love, friendship, the unbreakable bond between us and dogs and the impact of the Internet on society. She won the 2019 Alistair Hulett Songs for Social Justice Award with “Cambridge Analytica”. “The Ides of March in Christchurch" was short-listed for the same award in 2020. ... more

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