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Stone Cold Sober Part 1

from Returning on Foot by Penelope Swales

/

lyrics

Stone Cold Sober Part 1
© Penelope Swales 1995
I sometimes wonder
'Bout the things that I find in my head.
I know they're 
memories
Was that really me? I know it was.
So young, so urgent, so 
subjective, so determined

I was stone cold sober, I thought I knew all 
about life
I was stone cold sober, I thought I knew my left from right
I 
was over-reacting to everything I was being told
I was fifteen years old

I 
got myself into some
Strange situations with strange men, strange friends, 
strange substances
I fell in love with a pretty guy - he played some pretty 
games
And some scar tissue still remains

I was stone cold sober, so 
serious about life
I was stone cold sober, I thought that I was in the 
right
I was over-reacting to all the little games he played.
I was sixteen 
years of age

There followed a period of madness,
Oh yeah, three years, 
maybe more
Can't really say I was sober all those times I passed out on the 
floor
I was trying to keep my wits about me, even if they weren't that 
sharp

And though stone cold sober's not really the words that I should use, 

I was stone cold sober when I made the decision to abuse
I was 
over-reacting to all of the sordid things I'd seen
I was just about 
nineteen

That's when I met you
Yeah, you wanted to be my best, best 
friend
You wanted to be the one man I could trust
Wanted to be the one on 
whom I could depend
Not to drag me into negotiations over general-purpose lust

Funny how things work out
I was stone cold sober when I said that I 
wanted you for life
I was stone cold sober when I said that I would be your 
wife
I was over-reacting to everything that you said and did
In many ways 
I was still a kid

At twenty-one I ran away with you, we never even told our 
friends
When we reappeared, oh dear!
Well they always said that it would 
end in tears

There followed a period of happiness,
Oh yeah, three years, 
maybe more
At least I was happy, yeah.

My tongue was vitriolic, 
sometimes
My temper, whoo! Was volatile
I knew that I would settle down 

But I thought that it would take awhile

You bore the brunt, you bore the 
brunt
But you said it wasn't hurting you
And I was stone cold sober, yeah
I was just trying to get it right.
I was stone cold sober those times I kept 
you up all night
Because I'd over-reacted to some little thing you'd said or 
done
I was still pretty young

You're holding up to me some past behaviour, 

Things I've said and done
Well, I can't say I didn't say them
I can't say 
I didn't do them

Your message is contradictory,
Your desires 
incomprehensible
My reputation's shot and my behaviour's reprehensible
Your 
presence in my life
Is as painful as it is indispensable

And now I'm wasted 
with crying
And trashed with sleepless nights,
And you're stone cold sober, 

You're trying to make me see the light
I think you've over-reacted to some 
of the things that I once did
Please remember I've grown up a bit
And I 
could not have done that
Without your forbearance

And if I'm coming through 
for you
Just as you're giving up.
Well. That's a tough one
Oh---

credits

from Returning on Foot, released January 7, 1995
Vocals, Guitar - Penelope Swales.
Violin - Paul Jonas.
Piano-accordion - Dave Evans.
Bass - Stephen Wright.
Drums - Carl Pannuzzo.

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Penelope Swales Boolarra, Australia

Penelope Swales has been articulating the human condition with passion and humour for 30+ years. She sings about politics, love, friendship, the unbreakable bond between us and dogs and the impact of the Internet on society. She won the 2019 Alistair Hulett Songs for Social Justice Award with “Cambridge Analytica”. “The Ides of March in Christchurch" was short-listed for the same award in 2020. ... more

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