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Confidented

from Skin: Deep by Penelope Swales

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Confidence isn't just something you gain as you get older. Sometimes you lose it, too. And building it up the second time is harder...

lyrics

Confidented
© Penelope Swales

I gotta learn it all again
That trick I had to start with
That it’s easy f you let it be
It’s the worrying that makes it hard

Sometimes I let fear
Cloud my mind
I can’t see anything
May as well be a slave
In a salt mine

Perhaps it’s only curiosity
That led me into the dark
Wanting so much just to understand
What it was you found so hard

Freedom’s frightening
When prison is the norm
The dark can be so comforting
When you’ve become
Frightened of the sun

I like to think I’m principled
But maybe it’s just pride
That despite my many failures
I keep on trying
People think I’m foolish
I’ve never really cared
But over time
That negativity
Has soaked into my head

Jealousy, insecurity
It’s like having a heart
Full of worms
Generosity’s the university
In which the heart can ever learn

So why is it so much easier
To drag somebody down
Than to venture with them onto
Uncharted higher ground?

Fears, doubts, insecurities
They’re like a contagious disease
That spreads like fear of plague
Among the confident
Constant exposure to these
Has worn down my immunities
I have become infected
By the things I most resent

The day stage fright
Gripped the diva
Sobriety the clown
Vertigo assailed the trapeze artist
You can’t do this shit if you look down
The day Looey The Stunt Man
Lost his nerve
That was the day
That I lost my verve
When Jim The Lion-Tamer fainted
At the sight of blood
Those big cats that he held in thrall
They got loose
They devoured us all

Ah, why do their fears affect me so?
People that you love, they’ve
Got a way of making sure you know
They’d rather you were frightened, too
Though everybody knows two people drowning
Only drag each other down

Sometimes this pain
Haunts me still
I’m wracked with grief and sorrow
In my house upon the hill
But when I try to free my mind
I know I can be brave
I just have to get out there and try
For another day
Oh, confidence is the only thing
That keeps us all in place
From the schoolyard to the stock market
All over the human race

credits

from Skin: Deep, released July 1, 2007
Vocals, Guitar, Stomp box - Penelope Swales

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about

Penelope Swales Boolarra, Australia

Penelope Swales has been articulating the human condition with passion and humour for 30+ years. She sings about politics, love, friendship, the unbreakable bond between us and dogs and the impact of the Internet on society. She won the 2019 Alistair Hulett Songs for Social Justice Award with “Cambridge Analytica”. “The Ides of March in Christchurch" was short-listed for the same award in 2020. ... more

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